This episode of the Grim Drive Podcast, where we explore mental health through the lens of professional sports and athletes, takes a look at Brad Marchand + Reputation.
Reputation, in the case of Brad Marchand and some other notorious athletes, can often stick with them for a very long time. These players may be doing what they think it takes to make it pro and/or doing what they think it takes to win when at that level. Whether their actions are justifiable and ultimately worth it in the end, is subjective. While their actions and resultant reputation may get them to the pros, it can also hold them back down the line, as players and fans alike associate them and their abilities only with their reputation. For Marchand, that has even led to him being labeled “the rat” as a moniker.
For those of us who are not professional athletes, how does reputation or image apply? Reputation can stick with us from younger ages, affect us in the workplace, and often lead to individuals taking on unwanted “roles” within family units. At times, reputations or roles form through no fault of our own. Other times, they are the result of our own poor decision making or betrayals of trust with those close to us. Just like pro athletes, these reputations can be hard to shake.
In this episode, we look at how/why reputations and roles form, when reputations or judgment from others is real and when it is simply perceived by us due to insecurity and a negative self-image, and what to know and do when trying to hop out of one role and onto and new path.
As a reminder to listeners, please click subscribe on your podcast listening platform and rate+review the podcast if possible, we really appreciate all feedback, so much that we are offering a pair of FREE Celtics tickets to a game in 2021-2022 for one lucky person out of all who write an HONEST review for us in the first three months of 2021. You can enter to win these tickets by taking a screenshot of your review and submitting that through the “contact us” option on our website at GrimDrive.com. The contact us option will ask for your name+email address and will provide you with the option to upload the screenshot file. MAKE SURE you take the screenshot of the review BEFORE you submit it, if you wait until after you submit your review you will no longer be able to see the review to take the screenshot.
Brad Marchand related links:
Players Tribune: https://www.theplayerstribune.com/articles/brad-marchand-built-for-boston-bruins
Mental Toughness: https://boston.cbslocal.com/2015/03/07/mentally-stronger-marchand-doesnt-shrink-in-big-games/
Grim Drive Examples:
Jon: Jim Carrey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V80-gPkpH6M
Jotham: Allan Scott (producer of Queen’s Gambit): https://www.sundaypost.com/fp/the-long-game-producer-on-30-year-struggle-to-film-acclaimed-tv-chess-drama/
One Line Therapy Doc:
Preview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfPP7Es9wao
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/One-Line-Therapy-Bethany-Van-Delft/dp/B08CZ874Z9
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What to do about Reputation:
***Disclaimer on MH tips (A LOT of tools and strategies with mental health are easy to understand, HARD to execute…#1 reason they are hard to execute is the fraudulent mindset of “it can’t be that easy”…it is and it isn’t…easy to comprehend does not mean easy to execute (working out and eating right are perfect examples of this)…beware of the mind’s tendency to downplay great solutions due to negativity, denial, or excuse making designed to avoid hard work…trained response by the brain, deluding the self into thinking there is no point in order to give yourself permission to avoid change. *Always best to seek professional help and work with someone
Dealing with issues of Reputation/Image:
- -Reputation vs. Self-Image (know the difference)
***Sometimes there are actually people judging, but a lot of times it is our OWN self- judgment through the Automatic Thought of “Mind-Reading” - Make sure to examine the evidence for proof that our reputation actually needs some
Repairing (“examine the evidence” is a common strategy in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) - If it is INTERNAL self-image, understand self 1 v. 2 (understand the internal critic) —————————————————————————————————
- IF the issue is in fact one of trust (lying, substance abuse, infidelity, unreliability, etc.):
- Trust is built gradually and can be ruined quickly (Hold yourself accountable)
- Take a one day at a time approach (process; define the change you want to see and turn that into a daily process)
- Actions speak louder than words; but communication is important
- When left with little to no info, how many people assume the negative?
- Learn to accept that some may take time to adjust (Marchand rep now still hasn’t adjusted)
- If you rush others, it can often further diminish the trust rebuilding process
- Some may never adjust
- Some may always associate you with past times/ages/behavior/etc. (YOU don’t have to)
- There are scenarios where you have to know when it’s over and to walk away and start the next chapter
- Trust is built gradually and can be ruined quickly (Hold yourself accountable)
Other:
- Focus on what YOU can control
- Zone of proximal development
- Success = talent/IQ, determination/work ethic, and LUCK
- Success ALWAYS involves help from others
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